April 14, 2010

Stories of The Day – April 14, 2010

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Out of Texas … An Unholy War

The good book says when confrontation strikes, you should not…you should turn the other cheek. Well Father John Parnell of the Saint Augustine Catholic Church in Fort Worth must have missed that passage. Just ask a Jehovah witness that stopped by his parsonage last week.

The word is that the Jehovah witness stopped by to let one of the father’s family know they were going to burn in hell. Yep, he was explaining to a young lady that if she did not leave her Catholic ways she would rest in the lake of fire and when Father Parnell heard this…he walked out the front door and began to beat the crud out of the Watch Tower Wacko! He unleashed a fiery fury of his own! In the end, the father was arrested.

Out of world of great inventions … Whizzing by

At 67 years-old Gerald Willis invented something incredible…something incredible but now deemed illegal. What is it you ask? A very very life like man who who. Now before your mind wonders down the LOVERS of Tukwila lane it is for helping people pass drug test. It is called the Whizzinator and here is how it works, the drug user on probation takes the Whizzinator and fills it full of clean wee wee. Understand?

They fill the fake who who with clean wee wee from a friend and then put it down in their wranglers and go take the drug test. It looks so real that if the probation officer catches a glimpse of Mr. Happy they will not know the difference. Well Gerald the who who guru just got arrested for a federal offense. Think about it…he is helping federal criminals illegally pass drug test so he has had to plead guilt to conspiracy to selling drug paraphernalia and conspiracy to defraud our government.

Out of New York … Sexy Sweat Shop

From the desk of The Fitz…there is a new workout that is all…all the rage in the Big Apple. It is a new kind of hot, hot…very hot yoga. This is a form of yoga where everyone sits together in a room buck naked.

Interesting enough…almost all the participants tend to be men. Yep, the flexible flop fest has a ratio of about 2 men for every woman. The inventor of the show your ying yang yoga is Jeffery Duval and he says it is a way for participant to shred their clothes, fears, and insecurities. One participant said, yeah, but it’s also a great way too find someone who is flexible and looks great naked (attempt at humor).

Tony Russell is a co-host on 100.7 The Wolf in Seattle, WA's Fitz in The Morning! He is also a counselor and teaching pastor at www.ChurchOnTheRidge.org and of course, a frequent contributor on www.snoqqer.com. He and his family are part of the Snoqualmie Ridge community.

<< Story of The Day – April 13, 2010
Day of Silence, Day of Silliness >>

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