February 22, 2010

Stories of The Day - Feb 22, 2010

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Out of Iowa … Debbie does Cedar Rapids

momma pimp 37 year old Debra Voshell just went to work…went to work for her new pimp Mary. And business was good. Mary was doing some serious marketing! Oh yeah, there was all kinds of horizontal mambo for money going on until…until the lovely Debra’s pimp Mary set her up with an undercover cop. And then Debbie got arrested for pandering and Mary got busted for pimpin. What is the what are you kidding me part. Mary the pimp is also Debbie’s momma.

Out of Texas … from Jesus (Hay-zoos) to Jesus

In El Paso, the US border patrol stopped a 22 year old Mexican woman coming into the states. She said that she had nothing in her care except … except some art work.

Well, the patrol said they would like to take a look and were somewhat surprised to find that all of the painting and pictures were of Jesus. I mean it is one thing to love the good lord but when all the pictures are of the king of Christmas then it is just a little odd.

And Cesar thought so as well…Cesar is the drug sniffing dog who started barking meaning there were drug in Jesus or…or Cesar is an atheist. Turned out there were drugs in the Jesus pics.

And they must have been huge pics because in the end…there was 31 pounds of the happy salad…the ganja…the wacky weed stuffed in the frames of holiness.

Out of Kitsap fire and rescue … Wal to Wal

South Kitsap’s fire and rescue studs and studdetes had to evacuate the Walmart on bethel road on Sunday. The emergency call came into the dept. At 12:40 p.m. one of the Walmart momma’s called 9-1-1 to report that a man was throwing vials of liquid on the floor which was releasing a severe…severe smell and it was causing head aches and nausea.

Was it some poisonous gas. Was Walmart under attack…had someone at big lots or target had enough of the smiley face giant of discount?

No, it was simply a 51 year old Belfair resident who was releasing a large amount of “super fart spray”. Yes my little buddies, it wasn’t just fart spray…it was super fart spray!

Hey some people buy a corvette and have an affair during midlife crisis…this guy decides to release fart spray at the local Walmart. He thought it would be a good joke and ironically cops must have agreed because he wasn’t arrested according to the Seattle P.I.

(based on true stories though some names and facts were changed to protect the guilty)

Tony Russell is a co-host on 100.7 The Wolf in Seattle, WA's Fitz in The Morning! He is also a counselor and teaching pastor at www.ChurchOnTheRidge.org and of course, a frequent contributor on www.snoqqer.com. He and his family are part of the Snoqualmie Ridge community.

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