March 30, 2010

Stories of the Day – Mar 30, 2010

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Out of Indiana … Not so Tiny Bubbles

cow-patty On dairy farms you will find a lot of manure…right…the cows crap like water firing out of a hydrant. Well this all turns into what is called a poop lagoon. Yes the dukie flows like a fountain of life but smells like death. And in these lagoons gas bubbles begin to build and in Indiana the bubbles are getting out of hand. In fact they are getting to be the size of small homes and this is a problem because when they blow…it’s ugly. Just ask one farmer who poked around a little too much and got launched…got launched over 40 feet. The bubble blew up and singed all … all the hair off of his head.

Out of Indonesia … Having a Ball

A 19 year-old boy was in love…desperately in love with his girlfriend, but she dumped him. She dumped him and let him know that she intended to marry another man. So the 19 year old made the choice to show his unhappiness by cutting off Mr. Happy. He chopped off his peanut and threw it away.

Out of New Mexico … Backseat Dumper

18 year old Austin Purify was mad … really mad at his girlfriend for breaking up with him so he was going to teach her a lesson. So he drove to where she worked, found her car, and climbed in the backseat and began to take a dump. No lie, he pulled down his pants and began to let it go on the leather. It was about then someone … not his girlfriend … opened the door and screamed what the heck are you doing? It was then, then that he realized that he was in the wrong car.

Out of Pennsylvania … Playing Possum

Donald Wolfe got arrested for a DUI, yes he was driving while bombed out of his mind. It wasn’t that he was swerving all over the road that got him busted. It was the fact that he was in the middle of the road….he was lying down in the middle of the road giving a possum CPR. Drunk Butt Don had hit the poor little critter and was trying to bring him back from the light!

Out of Tennessee … The fastest thing on two feet!

22 year-old Daniel R. Lee of Church Hill walked into a local IGA and within seconds was being chased all through out the store. He darted and dashed through the produce, he made a sprint down aisle 16 past the sugar filled cereals and then he safely jumped over the beer display and out the door he went…out he went buck naked. Yes they call him the streak…Daniel Lee showed all his goody goodies to the fine people of the IGA and then he went across the parking lot to Carl Juniors. It was there that cops caught him. When asked why he felt the need to show his buck naked speed, he said that he was just bored.

Tony Russell is a co-host on 100.7 The Wolf in Seattle, WA's Fitz in The Morning! He is also a counselor and teaching pastor at www.ChurchOnTheRidge.org and of course, a frequent contributor on www.snoqqer.com. He and his family are part of the Snoqualmie Ridge community.

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