March 8, 2010

Stories of the Day – Mar 8, 2010

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Out of Florida … Razor Burned

You have heard of the dangers of texting while driving right? Well, there may be a new law implemented in the Florida keys thanks to a 37 year old woman who was driving and swerving all over the road. When cops pulled her over expecting to find a drunk butt blonde. They actually found a woman who was trying to drive while…uh…shave her private area! Wait, the story gets even more complex…she wasn’t actually driving. She was in the driver’s seat but her ex-husband was steering so she could shave the circus area. Now get this…she told the officer she was shaving her bikini line of love because she was on the way to meet her boyfriend in The Keys and she wanted to look good for him!

Out of Kentucky … Got Milk

A 31 year-old woman in Owensboro got arrested for a DUI, but boozing while driving may have not been her biggest mistake. The big blunder that would land her with a felony charge of a third degree assault on a police officer came while she was putting on her jumpsuit to go to the county jail. It was then…then when she turned toward a deputy and shot her right between the eyes with her breast! The drunken lady had enough pressure and milk to make her mark on the officer, but it will only add to her sentence.

Out of South Carolina … Not So Fast!

29 year-old Edward Sweezy of Union got busted for a DUI, stealing, and whole bunch of other stuff.  And it is what he stole that made him easy to find…he had stolen someone’s go-cart.  A deputy, only minutes after hearing on his radio that someone had stolen the low riding fun-mobile, spotted Speedy Sweezy flying by swerving back and forth and shouting like he was Luke or Bo Duke!  When the officer finally got not so fast Eddie pulled over, it wasn’t difficult to see why he would think he could get away on the go-cart.  Eddie was carrying a crack pipe, a controlled substance, some booze, more drugs, and possibly a bong.  Besides that he was totally innocent!!!

Tony Russell is a co-host on 100.7 The Wolf in Seattle, WA's Fitz in The Morning! He is also a counselor and teaching pastor at www.ChurchOnTheRidge.org and of course, a frequent contributor on www.snoqqer.com. He and his family are part of the Snoqualmie Ridge community.

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