March 5, 2010

Stories of The Day – March 5, 2010

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Out of Washington…the butt crack of nowhere

No name was given and that is a shame because I would really like to party with this guy. We will call him Sam. Sam is described as a 26 year old bald man whose neighbor had to call cops last week because Sam…Sam was scaring his horse. Sam’s neighbor called 9-1-1 to say my neighbor is scaring my horse half too death. Seriously, he scared the horsey so bad that the poor fury fella broke through a barbed wire fence and took off running.

The 9-1-1 operator asked the logical question…how….how is he scaring your horse?  How is he striking so much terror into a huge horse to make it crash through a fence?

Well here is how…Sam was walking up to the horse and dropping his pants. Oh yes my friends, Sam I am was showing the gland of goodness. And all I will say, if he could scare a horse…if he could scare a full size horse with the weenie dance then should he be arrested or admired?

Out of North Carolina…tired…very tired

This isn’t another pit bull killing story but…but it is a pit bull biting a car story. Let me just say that if you ever…ever had a doubt as to how powerful the chompers of the dog of death is…this will convince you to beware.

Hope mills sheriff got a call to go to investigate a complaint about a lady’s pit bull. When the sheriff arrived he went in to question the owner about where her dog was and confront her about the terror he was reining down on neighbors. She of course…denied all of it.

Her pit bull would never hurt anyone…he is a sweet little pitster and the neighbors were just paranoid. Well all that turned to crap when they walked outside to find…to find her pit bull chewing the tires off the sheriff’s car. No people I’m serious…the pit bull chewed through and destroyed all 4 tires. The dog was taken in by the pet police and the owner will be billed for the tires.

Out of Ohio…wrapping it up

Canton Ohio is the home of the football hall of fame and it is also the home of the coolest and toughest judge in America. His name is Stephen Belden and here is an example of how he handled a 51 year old robbery suspect who would not shut up in court last week. He gave him a warning once, twice, and the third time he ordered the bailiff to go to his office and get a roll of duct tape.  He then had the rowdy robber’s mouth duct taped shut. Order was restored and the duct taped convict was sentence to prison. 

Tony Russell is a co-host on 100.7 The Wolf in Seattle, WA's Fitz in The Morning! He is also a counselor and teaching pastor at www.ChurchOnTheRidge.org and of course, a frequent contributor on www.snoqqer.com. He and his family are part of the Snoqualmie Ridge community.

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